Getting married in Italy. You can already picture that long table, with a glass of wine and all the people you love. The photos of the venue are stunning. And now I’m going to ask you a question that has nothing to do with the view:
How do you want to feel there?
So it’s not just about what it should look like. It’s also about what you’ll want to recall later when you close your eyes. The buzz of conversation at the table? Your partner’s hand during the ceremony? The fact that, for the first time in a long while, you were together with all your loved ones, without having to rush off somewhere again?
That's where a personal wedding in Italy begins for me. Not with the picture, but with the life that gets to unfold within it.
A personalized ceremony for your wedding in Italy
Of course, you can fall in love with a place; a courtyard, a garden, or a view that makes you pause for a moment.
But a venue doesn’t automatically know who you are. It doesn’t know that you’d rather talk late into the evening than follow a strict schedule. Or that, on the contrary, you love a lively party but find it nerve-wracking to be in the spotlight during the ceremony.
That's what you say.
A beautiful setting can enhance what’s already there. It doesn’t have to turn you into a new version of yourselves. You don’t have to suddenly become a different couple just because you’re getting married in Italy. Pizza is still okay. So are your terrible dance moves.
A moment from my own experience in Italy
What I personally take away from a wedding in Italy isn't just what looked beautiful in the photos. It's also the work that went into it.
I was already there in the morning to greet the suppliers, after getting only a few hours of sleep.
No grand scene for a wedding album. But a very concrete part of the support process: being there, coordinating, and making sure there’s someone who can bring everything together.
That’s what I think is important about wedding planning. It’s not that you’ll see all those behind-the-scenes details. It’s that we’ll have a clear understanding in advance of what’s needed, who’s responsible for what, and what you won’t have to worry about anymore.
Even the most beautiful table isn't much help if you're just sitting there trying to figure out who to call next.
Choose three words before you save twenty more locations
Grab a sheet of paper together and each write down three words that describe how you want to experience the wedding.
Not how others should judge it in hindsight. How it should feel to you.
For example 'free, connected, playful'. Or 'intimate, calm, exuberant'. Yes, it’s okay to be both calm and exuberant. A ceremony and a dance floor don’t have to have the same energy.
Next, discuss one specific choice for each word.
- Related: You might want to have dinner together the night before, so that your first meeting doesn't take place during the ceremony.
- Friday: Maybe you’d like to have one shared activity and otherwise give guests the freedom to plan their own day.
- Intimate: You might choose not to share every moment with everyone.
That way, feelings don't just become pretty words under a mood board, but a way to make decisions.
Getting together doesn't have to mean a packed schedule lasting several days
Getting married abroad can give you more time together. But more days don't automatically mean a deeper connection.
If you plan a group activity every morning, a relaxing getaway can turn into a school trip, with better wine, before you know it.
So ask yourself: Where should nothing happen?
A breakfast with no set start time. An afternoon when someone can sleep, read, or explore the surroundings. A brief moment just the two of us, without feeling the need to take a picture right away.
Discuss what’s included, what remains optional, and which costs guests are responsible for. Clear expectations aren’t a buzzkill. On the contrary, they give you the freedom to enjoy yourselves.
Let the ceremony explain why you're here
Between arriving, eating, and celebrating, there should also be a moment when everyone feels: this is why we’re here together.
The ceremony can be that place, with your story, words that resonate with you, and space for the people you love. With an international group, this also raises the question: What do our guests need to understand and empathize?
My work as a ceremony officiant is all about that connection. Not a script that could have been used anywhere, but a ceremony that suits you, even when you’re far from home.
When it comes to practical preparations, issues such as accessibility, arrangements with the venue, and any legal steps to take remain important, of course. For more information on these topics, check out the wedding blog, including the existing Tuscany guide and the article on getting married abroad.
But start small today. Not with yet another location. Start with that one question at the kitchen table: How do we want to feel there?
Curious about how your story could serve as the inspiration for a wedding in Italy? Visit tbeweddings.com , you can read more about the ceremony and wedding planning. Bring your ideas with you, even if they don’t quite fit into a mood board yet. 💙
